Doubts

Doubting myself that I can do this half in September. I get out and run and as I am running my mind also runs. I hear this voice that says why are you doing this you will never be able to run 13.1 miles. Kathy your setting yourself up for failure just quit now. That voice wins and as soon as I get to my starting point I quit instead of pushing myself an extra mile or two. How can I do this run I ask myself over and over. I then feed into it, your not fast enough to do it in 2 hours...yep that's my goal crazy I know. Maybe I am setting myself up for failure. I do enjoy running I love that time to myself and the fresh air. I just truly deep down want that feeling of accomplishment. The feeling of I really did this. So why do I let my mind take away this dream if that's what you want to call it? You know I look back at my life and what have I accomplished? I was a handful for my Mom growing up. Typical teen I'm sure Moms are always wrong they know nothing. Man I'm learning that now with having two in my house. I look back and all I want to do is hug my Mom and tell her I'm sorry for the way I was and she was always right. Moms really do know what's best. Anyways I've gotten a bit side tracked. So what have I accomplished in my life...in high school all I wanted to do is be with my friends and have a good time. Who had time for sports not this girl. Man I would go back in a heart beat and do it all over again! I became a Mom at a young age and to be honest that was the best thing that ever happened to me. It slowed me way down which that's what I needed. I'm so thankful my Mom was so understanding and right by my side. I know I sure found out who my TRUE friends were and they are still around to this day. You know GOD does have a plan for me. As I write this I'm reflecting back on my later teen years. God blessed me with Logan and shortly after God had Sean and my path cross. He has been such a blessing in our lives. We have had our trials but we've leaned on each other and have gotten through them.

Wow I've really jumped around in this post. I guess I just understand why I doubt myself so much. I guess they do say a person is usually harder on themselves then anyone else. Well it's time to put those running shoes on and see what I can get accomplished tonight.